This is the Name I Call You By

I've just finished the last edits before my new novel is sent out to publishers and there is just one task left to do. It's a seemingly simple one on the surface, but I'm finding it extremely difficult. 

At the suggestion of my agent, I'm attempting to rename one of my two main characters. There is nothing wrong with the name I've given her, except that it is the name of the main character in some upcoming "made-to-be-a-bestseller" trilogy, you know the kind that seem to come out every month these days. So to avoid being linked to something like that, it's just easier to change the name. Sounds easy, right? Well, not when you've come to know this character by one name for the past year.

It really shouldn't make any difference. Her name has no significance to the story and no one will ever know it wasn't always the character's given name. Yet, it still matters. Try to imagine Alice being called Emily and for whatever reason it doesn't work. However, if you never knew her as Alice, it wouldn't bother you at all. But since you do, it does. That's the situation I'm in. Every name I try out feels wrong somehow. 

Feeling is what I will go on in my search. When I stumble upon a name that feels right, I will confidently hit the "replace all" button. Until then, it's off to the baby name lists to find my character the name she never had. 

Stepping Into Story

I spent this past week making revisions to my new manuscript. Stepping back into a story can be a tricky thing sometimes, especially one told in two voices. Sometimes though, it isn't hard at all. I was lucky this time. As soon as I dove in, I felt like I'd never left the world I'd put to paper.

I think part of that is due to the fact that the one main character is based more on me than any character I've written in eight years. There are differences between us, but for the most part, the character shares many of my traits and opinions. This wasn't an intentional decision, it just sort of happened as the writing progressed. Sometimes I purposely try to stay away from that, but for whatever reason, it just felt right for this book.

With my work done for now, there's nothing to do but wait for the story to find a home. Sometimes that's the hardest part...

Walking in Oblivion

The most terrifying moments for an author are undoubtedly when the first readers of a manuscript have finished the story and are prepared to tell you what they think. No matter how many times you may think to yourself that you are doing good work during the course of writing a manuscript, there is always that nagging fear that the words truly suck and you've only been tricking yourself into believing otherwise due to laziness. This is what makes the first response from another reader so critical, and so nerve wracking. Like it or not, the truth will be revealed.

When I recently finished the novel I'd been working on for the past several months, I felt good about it. I knew I'd worked hard, that I'd supported the characters actions and that the story had depth and meaning, yet I still worried about the possible criticisms that might come my way. I made some daring narrative choices with this book, which even though I was happy with, I knew they were a bit of gamble. But I committed to them. A writer needs to commit to the story he or she feels they want to tell.

Yesterday I heard back from my agent. I must confess to a level of dread upon seeing the email in my inbox, but as it turns out, my anxiety was all for nothing. The response was overwhelmingly positive. As always, there are a few places for improvement, but they are minor and I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing the choices you've made and the work you've put in has paid off in some way. Hopefully you will all be able to read this story in near future.

Love Will Tear Us Apart Again

It seems only fitting that I finished the second draft of my new tragic love story on the day before Valentine's Day. The love story is really the heart and soul of this manuscript, and consequently, what happens to love when life gets in the way. 

The true idealists will always tell you that love is enough. Love conquers all. And though I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that philosophy, I think there is an implication hidden in there that somehow suggests that love is easy. The truth is that love is complicated and grows more complicated when the actions of those individuals involved don't necessarily mirror the choices of the other. True love involves a depth of selflessness that goes against our human nature.

I think one of the reasons teenage love is often portrayed so tragically is because it basically is. The chances of you staying with that first love for the rest of your life are very slim. So despite all the promises, the love will most likely end. But the beautiful thing about that first love is that it does last forever in many ways. You never completely forget that person. That is the type of relationship I attempted to bring to life in this story. Only time will tell if I succeeded.

Walking Through the Pages

This week I've been pleasantly surprised at the pace of revisions for the current beast I'm working on. I'd already identified parts that needed added or strengthened as I read through, but never expected those additions to come so easily. 

Working through a second draft of a manuscript can usually go one of two ways, torturous or pleasant. Ironically, a story that flowed onto the page so easily is more likely the torturous revision. At least for me, in those instances, I typically love what I wrote when I wrote it and therefore finding fault or necessary changes becomes harder. There's a rhythm to the prose that you are wary to break up. Everything is already so neat and tidy that there is no desire to get your hands dirty.

On the other side are the manuscripts that have to fight and claw their way out, and barely make scratches on the page once they do. These are the kinds of stories you doubt at every chapter. I find these are the easier manuscripts to deal with in second drafts. Perhaps because at the moment of completion, they never feel done to begin with. Plus, I'm never fully confident in the entirety of it, therefore taking it apart in place to build it back up isn't very hard.

An End to the Beginning, A Beginning Toward the End

Earlier this week, I finished the first draft of a new novel. There is always a mix of elation and skepticism when this happens. Any sense of accomplishment is short-lived as I begin thinking about the choices I would've, could've and probably should've made along the way.

At the same time, there is a feeling of optimism going into the second draft. With a better understanding of how the entire story plays out, it's often easier to identify the moments where things might have gotten off track, or where the track itself might need to be widened. 

Wish me luck as I set sail on the second leg of the journey.

Falling Into Place

Often I find that nearing the end of a manuscript can be the hardest. I have no problem beginning a novel. If all I ever had to do was to write the first fifty pages of a story, I'd excel at it. I love the sense of mystery the comes with leaping into the middle of a story and slowly unraveling what exactly is going on. But the end...that is a place where great care is needed, unlike the reckless fury of beginnings. 

It's not that I don't know how a story is supposed to end. Okay, sometimes I don't know how it's supposed to end, but usually I know generally where the manuscript is supposed to go for its big finale, even if I don't know what happens once I arrive. But the real challenge is constructing the elements that get you to that big finale. 

As I approach this critical point in the manuscript I'm working on, there have been several critical pieces of puzzle that I'd been trying to figure out how to fit together. During my brief holiday vacation, I kept running different scenarios, playing the old what if this happens, and this happens, and then this happens game. That game never quite gives me a solution, but it does provide me something to work with. I was able to solve one important piece of the puzzle and once I had that, the others began to fall into place over the next few days. Now, after what feels like months of confusion, a clear path to the conclusion seems in sight. 

A steady hand on the wheel should guide me home....but of course, shipwreck lurks around every corner when navigating the waters of novel writing. We shall see.

Manifest Destiny

At the start of writing every novel, or at least, near the start, once the characters take shape and begin to walk and talk on their own, there are certain scenes that play out inside the imagination. Some of these scenes are not to happen for a hundred or a hundred and fifty pages, yet they continue to haunt the process. 

I think one of the hardest aspects about writing a novel is managing these scenes. Rushing to get to them is so tempting and if one gives in to the temptation, the pace and development of the story suffer. Having finally reached one of these scenes in the manuscript I'm working on, I can tell you that waiting is worth it. The sense of achievement that comes with getting there at the right time can make the entire process successful. Stories need to be natural, never forced.

Out of the Blue, Into the Black

All my stories seem to enter the woods at some point, attracted there by their own force of will. The woods are a place to be lost. A place where past and present mean less than they do on a crowded street and where the future seems to come at a slower pace. Time moves differently among the trees, just like it does between the pages. Perhaps there is a connection between the paper and the branches it used to be.

I've currently written my characters into the woods where fate awaits them with a cruel twist. Part of me feels guilty that I know what is about to befall them and not only do I not warn them, I am leading them straight to into the danger and rubbing my hands greedily together in anticipation. Because that's the thing about the woods...good and evil lurk in equal parts among the trees.

The Way the Wind Blows

Whenever I'm working on a novel, there are these moments in life where I find myself transported into the events taking place. Yesterday I caught this flock heading south in formation, flying under the approach of winter that lingered in the overcast. I heard them coming long before I saw them and watched as they passed above by me. It was exactly the kind of thing I could imagine happening to my two main characters. 

In moments like this, I find myself drifting deeper into the story. The world of my fiction and the world outside grow to look alike and my life gets intertwined with the characters. Everything merges. Life blends with imagination and imagination influences reality. Alas, that is the life a writer chooses to live. 

One Thing Leads to Another

There comes a time during the process of writing a novel where separate threads begin to come together. Themes start to connect to themes and one incident influences another. This miracle will often happen on its own, which is why you always hear writers giving such advice about not forcing things. The human mind is wired to look for connections and set structure to the world. This same principle also holds true for the fictional worlds one creates.

I'm about halfway through the manuscript I'm working on and over the past few days, those connections have started revealing themselves to me. The funny thing about it is that I was just prepared to do an outline because I wasn't seeing them. Sometimes thinking it out on paper will reveal what the actual manuscript isn't showing...but alas, they came anyway. For the sake of swiftness, I've decided to go ahead with outlining the rest of the story, but an outline is far more effective when one knows how the pieces all fit together.

You Wait There, I'll Be Right Back...

The other day I was thinking about what happens to my characters when I'm not working on a manuscript. Since I've been writing two things at once, I let one project sit for a few days while I finished up the other. But I kept reminding myself where I'd left my two main characters, so that it was constantly fresh in mind.

I'd left them sitting on a bed. I kept picturing them in this state of suspended animation. Like toys set up for a permanent scene. A museum piece, frozen in time. And then I come marching back in and expect to them to just pick up where they left off. 

It's a fascinating thing, this fiction stuff.

Come In, The Door's Open...

At the start of writing any book, there are always certain scenes that you have in mind before the first word is ever written. A big problem new writers have is their impatience to get to these scenes. They rush through things so that they can write the part that is super clear to them. But stories don't work like that...a lot of the time, those scenes need to be built. Some serious groundwork needs laid if they are going to have the impact one hopes for them to have. 

This type of scene can be a blessing...after all, every writer loves to keep a fully formed scene in their pocket to pull out when needed. But they can behave like demons as well, constantly banging on the door and wanting to throw themselves all over the next blank page. It can be a tough task keeping that door shut. The temptation to let them in too early is often overwhelming.

The other day, I reached the point in my manuscript where I could cast that door wide open and work on a scene that had been in my mind from the outset. It was a great feeling taming that demon. The struggle to keep it at bay is always worth it in the end.

Learning Not Use the Force

Earlier this week, I spent a whole day working on little over a page in my manuscript. I had finished a brief scene and was transitioning into a complimentary scene that was supposed to close out the chapter and lead to the next. On paper, it looked good. Should've flowed seamlessly. But when I put it into action, everything came to a grinding halt.

As I was writing, I kept struggling with the idea that the characters wouldn't be saying these things after what had just happened. They wouldn't be talking about this stuff, no mater how badly I wanted them to. 

When I sat down to work yesterday, I approached the manuscript with a new attitude. I wasn't going to force this transition. I took the scene I'd struggled on and moved it down several pages and out of the way so I could get to work on what really happens next. I'm happy to say, it didn't take long for the characters to find the right scene. Sometimes the author just needs to step out of the way.

Wherever You Go, I Will Follow...

I've been taking a different approach with my writing lately. With the new book I'm working on, I'm not obsessively planning and outlining the way I typically do. It's not because I've suddenly given up my belief that plans and outlines are extremely helpful tools...and I have to admit that I'm sneaking in a little of both...however, the story is about the freedom the two main characters experience during their day together. I wanted to give them the chance to find themselves in their own terms. 

Most writers will tell you that their characters are their children in a sense. You give life to them and are ultimately responsible for their well being. Of course there's the benefit of them not being able to scribble on your walls or break your most prized possessions, but that's a minor detail because they still demand the same amount of attention. With the two character in this story, I didn't want to force anything on them. I think of it more like the picture above...I offer them scenes to ether accept or reject. Though unlike them, I have the advantage of knowing where they will end up. But that will be my little secret.