Fleets of rodent pests have been registered migrating in great numbers west and north. These rodents are heavily supplied for the coming season. Better than our own regiments. Some reports have suggested the enemy has been fitted with sonic assault weapons. APPROACH THESE RABBITS WITH CAUTION for they have been infected with great intelligence.
...with special nuanced whistling, a frequency achieved through the gap of their front teeth, can only be heard by children. It seems large numbers of the children have defected to the enemy and have taken to the habit of wearing rabbit ears as a sign of solidarity. Spies among us...
(Tune in next Story Time Tuesday for the next installment)