The Art of Letting Go

Mowgli Rockefeller BoJangles, Major Tom Hotpants  

(aka. Sir Captain Hopscotch)

You came to us,
           a few short weeks after we lost our other cat.

You came to us from out of the woods
          and we called you Mowgli.

You wanted nothing from us but our affection,
         which you returned tenfold.

You came to us, skinny . . lost . . all ears and paws.

You came to us, our handsome cat-man.

For nine years, you followed me around,
     screaming at me until I sat down
          because a lap was the only home you ever wanted.

You slept under the covers, or at the foot of the bed.
You slept with my arm wrapped around you,
           your head on my pillow.
You woke me early in the morning when you wanted fed.

You showed us your big paw when you were happy,
       with a regal purr and clip-clop claws.
   The looks you gave . . melted all pain away.

Your sickness came quick,
                   caught us unprepared.

Your energy dwindled and your hunger left,
                  but your love remained until the end.

Our hearts have a place for you that will never be filled,
     but we are forever grateful for the time with us that you spent.

The Fragility of Time

We got some tough news this past week...Mr. Mowgli Rockefeller BoJangles Major Tom Hotpants (aka Sir Captain Hopscotch), our loving catman, hasn't been quite himself of late. He's an older cat, and he had grown less active and less hungry over the summer. After being diagnosed with a thyroid condition and given medication, he improved slightly. But last week, things got more dramatic. He started eating less and less, and was getting thinner and thinner. He was sleeping in a closet, or under a chair where he's never slept before, and wasn't seeking our affection. 

When we took him to the vet, they ran some tests, which all came back negative. Then they did a chest x-ray...and that's when we got the bad news. A tumor occupies a good portion of his one lung, and it has been taking most of his energy to breathe, which is why he wasn't eating. There is nothing they can really do. They gave him a steroid shot...which has brought him back to his old self, or at least as close to it as he's been all summer. But it's just a matter of time at this point. 

After a lot of crying came the acceptance that this is the long goodbye. With the time we have left, I'm going to do my best to give him all the attention I can and shower him with the same intense love he's always showed us. In some ways the long goodbye is better, but in some ways it's harder. 

Manchester By the Sea

Last weekend, I went to see Manchester by the Sea and have to say it was one of the more important movies that I've seen in a long time. It was the kind of movie that was made in the height of indie cinema in the late '90s, but doesn't often get made today since it's not an easy movie and not a movie that fits into a pre-defined marketing category. This is a story about sadness, about dealing with sadness, about learning to live again after sadness. I wouldn't call it a depressing movie. It's about healing. While it's definitely sad, it's ultimately uplifting by the end.

One of the things that is curious about this movie, and one of the things that makes it important, is that it is specifically about men and how men deal with sadness. Despite the advances our society has made, there is still this prevailing idea out there that men should deal with sadness in the traditional way. This movie examines that concept in a powerful way and shows how tragic that concept can be. It also shows the private side of male bonding and the healing power of that bond. 

While I enjoyed La La Land immensely, and thought it a fun love story, it's not on the same level as this film. There is a scene between Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams, the scene in the poster pictured above, that is perhaps the best acted scene that I've ever watched. For that scene alone, both deserve Oscars, as does the film. This will be the first year in many that I've watched the Academy Awards with a winner to root for.